Relationship Online Academy, the Relationship Educators.

For many years, I lived a life that looked perfectly normal from the outside.

Behind closed doors, however, I experienced physical and sexual abuse, manipulation, fear, emotional and psychological abuse, coercive control, stalking, financial abuse and the gradual loss of my confidence and identity.

Like many survivors, I didn’t recognise what was happening until much later.

I believed things would change.

I believed love could fix everything.

I believed if I tried harder, communicated better or became more understanding, my relationships would improve.

Instead, I found myself surviving rather than living.

Leaving was not a single decision.  The final cut, I never wanted my daughter to grow up thinking this was how a male could treat her.

It was a journey of rebuilding my confidence, rediscovering my worth and learning what healthy relationships actually look like.

I thought I was ok, I was continually reading every book (before internet) on relationships.  I grew up in a happy day’s family, my parents only ever fought in front of us once, there was no drugs, alcohol or any abuse, I pulled that inner knowledge.

Finally, after years alone, my daughter wanted a family, I let someone in, he loved her, we both had ghosts, another daughter growing up in another unhealthy relationship, he never hit me, however emotionally he destroyed who I was, everything I thought I had rebuilt.  He was a gambler and psychologically and emotionally abusive.  Not his fault, I was his first, he was raised in a broken family and didn’t have any emotional compass.

I didn’t want to fail again, I felt like I was failing, too independent, too kind, too understanding, always finding the broken birds.  It didn’t get better and again I didn’t want my daughters growing up thinking this is how someone could treat them.  I knew it wasn’t healthy.

I learned it takes two to make or break a relationship.  Years later and third time lucky I met my now husband.  Six children a big stepfamily, wow initially what a different uncomfortable journey.  We are still together. 

As you get to know me through the courses, I share personal information only to help you feel not alone, you will gain the knowledge that I believe in relationships, healthy relationships.  I don’t believe you need to stay in a relationship if it is dangerous or unhealthy, however I also understand we only know what we know.

My different journeys changed my life forever.